A Matter of Speaking

I have a horrible aversion to public speaking. I would even say that the aversion borders on pathological. But, as I am discovering throughout this graduate program, public speaking appears to be an essential component of being a successful graduate student, researcher, and educator. No surprise there, I guess.

I've heard that public speaking rates higher than death on people's list of fears (Wallace, Wallechinsky, & Wallace, 1983). And people have advised me on all sorts of different ways to beat that fear of public speaking. My favorite is to picture your audience naked. Naked, huh? Yikes.

So I've decided to take the bull by the horns and do a crash course on public speaking. I joined a local public speaking/speech group to get over this nerve-wracking, nausea-inducing fear of public speaking. Is it working? Well, I've only done 3 speeches to far and surprisingly, I think that my nervousness has improved a little bit. But is it because I'm speaking to familiar people now? Is it because I speak in the same location all the time? Is it because I prepare up the whazoo to the point where I can actually run 30 minutes on a treadmill repeating the speech over and over without a mistake? Perhaps all of the above? Regardless, I think it's the exposure. Exposure to our fears, as long as they aren't going to kill you (e.g., I have a fear of sharks, but I'm not about to swimming with a Great White just to get over it), can help you get more comfortable with that fear. And, if you experience successes in overcoming that fear (e.g., completing 3 speeches without passing out, puking on your audience, or running screaming from the room), that also contributes to decreasing anxiety related to that fear.

I suppose the true test will be to give a paper or podium presentation at a research conference. In the meantime, I'll sign up for more speeches, get as much exposure as possible, so I can start re-dressing the members of my audience.

Wallace, A. Wallechinsky, D. & Wallace, I.  (1983).  The Book of Lists. New York, NY: Morrow Books.

What a Week....!

And the week isn't even over yet....

But not to worry, it's been a great week so far. I received two pieces of awesome news this week!

Oiselle's Happy Hoodie

1) I now get to run for Oiselle as one of their ambassadors of running. It's a great opportunity to represent a a great company created by and dedicated to women runners of all abilities. And I really mean all abilities. Although I love running, I'm not at all a fast runner. But Oiselle supports all sorts of women runners across the country! How awesome is that? Oh, and did I mention that they have the best running clothes ever?? Check out their running tees and this nifty hoodie just in time for spring!

Oiselle T to celebrate
40 yrs of Title IX

2) Drum roll....NIH/NINR has awarded me pre-doc funding! Yay! That's really good news since I have a couple more years in my program. Every little bit of $$ helps! But even more exciting is that someone out there is interested in my research. That's kind of a nice, warm fuzzy feeling. I'm still navigating the logistics of the grant process, but hopefully I'll figure it out soon.

Whew....I'm not sure the week can get any better than this, but hey, I'm not opposed to a bit more happiness on the horizon!

The Wonderful World of Revising Manuscripts

I just submitted a revision for a manuscript that was originally rejected from one journal and that is now teetering on the precipice of another rejection from a second journal. While I am definitely not a world-class revision-ist (that isn't even a word....), I think that I've learned a few tidbits of wisdom along the way.

Regarding Reviewers:
1) Be advised: They don't hate you. They just hate your work. They wouldn't know you if you walked right past them in the street today. Oh yeah, you wouldn't know them either. They could be the researcher sitting right next to you at the next conference. While this was meant to be a comforting thought, it doesn't ever really prevent me from narrowing my eyes at that person next to me....

2) One day you may be a reviewer too. Sweet.

Reading through the Comments:
1) Develop a thick, adamantium skin. Reading people's critique of your work hurts. It's unpleasant, nauseating, and aggravating. A glass of wine helps.

Indy's response to addressing reviewer comments.

2) Once you get over the frustration, anger, disappointment, or general wallowing in a pool of self-doubt, realize that you have been given the chance to try again. The editorial board could have outright rejected your work, but that didn't happen. There was some potential and worth to what you've done and they are giving you an opportunity to generate a stronger product. Don't believe me? A glass of wine may help you realize this point.

Writing the Revision:
1) Take some time to digest the comments. This will allow your anger, confusion, and self-doubt.

2) Copy and paste all the comments onto a new document so you will be sure to address every last sentence of bitter criticism. Sometimes, you find that there are actually 2 or 3 criticisms in one sentence (lucky you!). Do your best to address them all, despite your fascination with how someone can be so cruel in the span of 8 words.

3) Another fun nugget: Sometimes two or three different reviewers catch you on the same issue. This is a good thing. Now you can write one response/revision and use it to answer more than one reviewer comment. Yay!

4) A glass of wine (or 2, or 3...) will help to blunt many of the negative feelings you may have towards the human race in general or towards any individual humans in the immediate vicinity during the revision process.

A Welcome Winter Break

Ah, at last! My last (and only) final exam is done for the semester. All my papers are in. My proposal is written. And the Christmas shopping is complete. I think it's time to relax. And what, you may ask, does a PhD student do to relax? You may think that it involves catching up on reading those journals that have piled up over the past few months tagged with "interesting articles that I'll get to later." Or maybe it has something to do with reading that fascinating text on research methodology. Oh wait, I've got it! Nothing says relaxing like sifting through PubMed to update a literature review for your dissertation project.

My research assistant evaluates my proposed reading list.

No, no, no. Silly reader. I am actually going to be nestled somewhere in the (hopefully snowy) northeast, away from wi-fi connectivity (that means no online journal databases). The only articles I'll be reading are from US Weekly (yes, it's true...). And the only book-like materials that are making the trip with me are from NPR's list of top fiction books of the year (sorry Polit & Beck and Cooper, et al.). It will probably be strange to be disconnected from something I've been living and breathing for the last year and a half. But, all I have to do is remind myself that although for ten days I'll be without those school-y things that happily haunt me here at home, they'll be waiting for me when I get back...still in their dusty piles marked "things to do" and muttering so only I can hear: "Oh, how we've missed you...."

Riding the Scholarly Pain Train

The semester is coming to a close. With only two weeks left before the end, I've found myself scrambling to get everything done and focusing on that distant light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, the light only signals the exit from one area of darkness. Sure there is a brief gasp of fresh air, sunlight, and the freedom to read best-selling fiction again. But another ominous tunnel looms before me: Spring semester. And who knows what horrors lie in those shadows.  


The good news: I will be done with a majority of my coursework by the end of that semester. Yay! Oh wait….that means I'll have to sit for my comps next. And then, I'll be working on my dissertation. And then, oh no, I'll have to defend after that. Then I have to get *gasp* a job? Or maybe hold off and find a post-doc? A scholar's work is never done. That is, if one considers oneself a scholar. And just when I've decided that, hey, this scholarly stuff isn't so bad as long as you break it down into baby steps, I realize that I'll be baby stepping it for a long time - from tunnel to tunnel through an introspective fog of confidence-crushing, doubt-inducing darkness each time. So probably it's best to just keep heading towards the light, no matter how fleeting those bright and shiny moments may be.

Conferences, Conferences

One of the hardest parts of being a distance student is a sense of disconnectedness from your peers and mentors. This disconnectedness can lead to a loss of momentum and motivation in the program. So what is a student to do?? This fall, I've been attending a few research conferences. The first was the Council for the Advancement of Nursing Science's Special Topics in DC. And now, I'm currently at the Gerontological Society of America Annual Scientific Meeting in Boston, MA. I actually submitted a late-breaker abstract this year, but it wasn't accepted. Alas. Regardless, I thought going to the conference would be a good idea anyways. And I was right!

Going to these research conferences is like a burst of inspiration and motivation. Seriously. Here I am rubbing elbows with some of the best researchers in my area of interest. I actually did a 4 mile run with one of them this morning!  We had a nice conversation about our research interests and what opportunities there may be for a PhD graduate a few years from now. Wow. Not only that, I get to talk to other PhD students in various stages of obtaining their degrees during the poster sessions, and network with universities that may be offering post-doc opportunities. I've found myself volunteering to participate in interest groups and task forces. Plus, walking through the poster sessions and listening to the symposia and paper sessions gets me thinking about different ways of studying my area of interest. Even better, I'm starting to see the benefits of that first year of course work! Even my statistics classes, if you can believe it.

I went to the same conferences last year and I can definitely tell a difference in my understanding of the research presentations this year. So all that hard work was productive after all….imagine that. I actually know what it means to "adjust for covariates" and to "use the Bonferroni correction." Not only that, I'm starting to critically appraise other researchers' methods. Not that I would openly question them at this point. I usually reserve that discussion for some of the familiar faculty who are also at the conference. That's another thing, I really get to interact with faculty from the university here. I am able to listen to their research presentations and see them in a different light other than solely an educator. I get to pick their brain about life after graduation, such as what to expect when thinking about/going up for tenure or what to look for in jobs afterwards.

So all in all, it's been a great few days here in Boston. And I'm going to be leaving here feeling all jazzed up about research and nursing and whatnot. Plus, the wheels are already turning as I ponder what other conferences I can get to so I can keep the motivation train going…

Chemistry Cat

Oh, Chemistry Cat, so clever you are!
http://icanhascheezburger.com/2011/07/26/funny-pictures-chemistry-cat-science-puns/